As humans, we make mistakes. We try to do the right things and sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail.
I’m only human.
But realize what I’m saying. I’m a human. I’m a person. With emotions. With feelings.
I made mistakes on how I handled a few things yes. But I’ve tried to fix them. One thing that I’ve tried to fix is the friendship that I once had with the daughters father. A new thing I’m trying to do is become friends with his fiancée.
Most people don’t understand that by accepting these things and dealing with them that I have to realize that he didn’t want that family life with me yet we have a child. It hurts yes. It kills me a little inside yes. Because at a time me and him loved each other and I never thought this would happen.
I’ve learned that it takes a strong person to accept this life. To go on like everything is okay while deep down inside I’m crying and hurting asking God why. But only He knows why.
A year ago I was trying to accept my life as a single mom…knowing that I was about to go through this journey with only me, Abbie, and my mom (because she’s been my biggest supporter and helper). I don’t know what I would do if I was alone. I was trying to accept something so scary yet so amazing. I was never so happy yet depressed.
One day I’ll find out the reason of why my life is headed this way but from last year to now things have gotten better.
I have stability in a career path. I am about to have a one year old. I’ve become (trying) more accepting of the situation before me.
It’s hard and doesn’t happen over night but I know one day I’ll get there with the help of Abbie.
This weekend my little girl turns 1. ONE! Gah. I’m about to be water works. She’s got teeth, she’s got sas, she’s got her mommas and her daddies looks.