Tonight, I feel broken.
Like a broken record.
Like a broken bone.
Like a broken home.
Emotionally drained broken.
What else do I even do? Continue to feel this way for the rest of my life? The rest of my pregnancy?
It hurts when someone can’t tell you something to your face. It also hurts that you love that person very dearly even after all the hurt. That’s when the anger hits. That’s when the rampages start. That’s when you try to hide all the pain they caused. That’s when you snap.
You’ve yelled, screamed, cried, and even sometimes laughed. But really…you’re numb. Numb from the pain and the stress. Numb enough to not care anymore to just cry.
Crying. I’ve been doing too much of that. Crying over someone who doesn’t love me. Crying over someone who wants our daughter in a broken home.
I can no longer control my daughters future as to being in a family or with her father.
I blame myself every day.
I’m throwing up.
I can’t eat.
I’m stressed and depressed.
From Febuary to now.