I grew up without my father being around. It was so weird to me to see dads around.
It was interesting. It got lonely. It got sad.
I always had so many questions like what does he look like, what’s his name, where is he.
And then once I got older my questions were why didn’t he come find me. Why did he let me grow up fatherless knowing I was out there.
I had to wait till it was freshman year of college to get to meet him. The first Christmas I spent without my precious grandmother because she had died that same year I spent with him.
I never really knew how much it really affected me till I got pregnant. I realized that I wanted her to have her parents. I didn’t want her to not know her dad. Because I didn’t want her to feel that pain.
Sadly. Things don’t end up the way you want them to go.
Like my mother, I’m a single mom. But at least he visits unlike what my dad did. And he was there for her birth unlike my dad.
But it brought emotions I never knew I had against my father. I didn’t want her to feel the way I did growing up.
He decided to raise someone else’s daughter. He decided to have a life away from me.
And you know it makes me a stronger mom today growing up with a single mom.
You’re never truly forced into something because you made the choices to get to where you are. Then you just simply make excuses
I’ll never understand certain things in this world
I’ve cried many tears and still do from time to time but my daughter will always be loved by me and my mom