When You Find Love.

I am extremely sorry I haven’t wrote in months. Between school and raising a toddler it’s been hectic.

A man has walked into my life. I never saw this moment coming. I have fallen inlove with him but also so has Abbie. He treats us so well. He adores the possibility of becoming the third member of our lil family.

Who knew a man like him existed. I’ve never been treated with so much respect. I’ve never had a man love me as much. I’ve never even knew this feeling existed. He loves me and my daughter!

Everything seems to be falling into place. One step at a time. Small step at a time. He says he’s known he’s wanted to marry me since the first moment we kissed.

Prince Charming has finally come into my life.

Currently tho. Abbie can count to 7. She can say most of her ABCs. She loves Itsy Bitsy Spider. And I have a sprained right ankle.

My job is amazing still.

I’m officially in criminal justice classes.

Life is looking normal.

Normal.

Never once thought I would use that work.

Will Single motherhood end?

Motivate Meee!

Okay so there’s a song by Good Charlotte (first album) called motivate me and it’s been stuck in my head hence the name of today’s blog.

So.

Officially officially like I actually did it. I gave up on dating.

It’s too much for right now.

I have school, a full time job, and a toddler. Why was I trying to find something else to make my life more hectic than it already is. Or should I say someone.

I have been trying for months to try to date and find someone reasonable but nothing is sparking or if I get interested he turns out to be my best friend.

Anyways. Time to get on track with weight loss. That’s where I’ll put all this random non extra energy into.

Because trust me I need too!

Maybe I’ve already met the someone I’m suppose to end up with but maybe they or we don’t realize it yet.

But that’s just wishful thinking.

I got up earlier than needed because my daughter actually slept all night.

She’s had a double ear infection here lately and it has not been fun! Fever after fever. No sleep. It’s been crazy.

Her father recently came in for a visit and that helped out a lot!

It’s board week at work! And I applied for a promotion. Let’s hope it all turns out good.

Side note ABBIE IS WALKING!!!

Yes yes yes! I am so in our JOY!

Time to get ready for work and someone ready for daycare.

To My Abbie.

I imagine I’ll have so many dear Abbie post.

Abigail.

You’re laying right beside me so cute and so sweet. Sleeping the night away already. You might be spoiled and very ornery but you’re my girl.

The way you smile at me. The giggles we share. The itsy bitsey spider jingles we do. They will last forever and forever.

You’re so small and so amazing yet so tall and so go getting. Nothing will ever stand in your way

I’m so happy god gave me you. From the annoyed looks and tears when I say no to something you think you need to the smiles I get when I tickle you to turn those tears into cheer.

I dont know what I am going to do as these years pass and go. You’ll grow older. Wiser. Stronger.

You’ll do amazing things and maybe change the world.

But tonight right here right now you’re my sweet little girl.

Forever and always..

My Abbie.

2018

Hello guys.

2018 has started with a BANG!!

IM BACK IN SCHOOL!!

I decided to add onto my already busy schedule with getting my bachelors in criminal justice. I’m going online at Southern New Hampshire University which they are amazing.

I’m excited about the possibilities of where my degree could take me.

I found Abbie an amazing daycare and she loves every moment of it. She’s down the road from me so it makes me feel good to know she’s right there if something was to happen.

It really teaches her so many things and stuff that’s personally picked for her for what she’s struggling with.

A couple of my best friends are getting married and I’m so excited.

I’m making 2018 my year.

Weight loss. School. Being a mom. Work. I have big plans for me and my little.

Trying to find a time to date has been interesting tho. Maybe one day.

We have been having snow here lately so me and Abbie have been staying warm.

‘Tis the Season.

Well.

It’s Christmas again.

Last year around this time I was packing up my house ready for whatever the world was going to bring me or really my move back home to Arkansas. I didnt know what life had in store for me at the time but it was some pretty good things.

But where there is good there is bad.

Unless something major happens between now and end of the year this is probably my last post for 2017.

I am so thankful for my amazing job at the Board of Nursing. It’s one of the many positives things that happened in 2017.

Abbie turned the whopping ONE.

Baby daddy actually stuck around.

He got married…

I almost got married and then my mind finally clicked.

But most of all between those good and bad things I am most happy and thankful for my beautiful Abigail.

It’s been a year since I started getting myself back.

Feeling Lost

Today, I feel lost.

I honestly have no idea what to do…

Emotionally I feel so drained and stressed..

I am wanting to get my daughters last name changed to mine..

I originally put her fathers last name as her name because during the time I still had feelings for him and thinking on a chance he would come back into my life I did that.

Now that I have moved on from him and my feelings aren’t there anymore, I am wanting to get it changed to mine.

I feel as tho me being her primary parent, guardian, and the person that doesn’t come in and out her life once a month that it would make sense to do this.

In a way I feel selfish but also in a way I feel like this is the right thing to do.

What if one day he decided to stop coming..or something else happens. I have no idea what do anymore. I am feeling lost like I said…

Opinions are welcomed and kind of needed…

Also, in the event I ever get married I am keeping my last name so no matter what she would still share a name with me.

Its The Holiday Season

This week is my baby girls second Thanksgiving and she has enough teeth to eat some turkey!

Its been a stressful past couple of weeks.

Hospital visit to Childrens last week because my poor baby girl was not eating or drinking, barely playing, and had 20 poop diapers…we were there for 10 hours..it was not fun..

BUT she seems to be doing better besides allergies and teething.

They said stomach virus but were not fully sure.

Then with the poop we had to battle a diaper rash for a week which was not fun.

BTW a good thing to help soothe your little ones if they have a extreme diaper rash is this Aveeno oatmeal bath stuff. It seemed very soothing to her and it helped clear it up along with Lotruim (normally a foot cream), Aquophor, and this other diaper cream combined. (I can’t spell)

I have been grateful for my mom because shes literally been there for me through this whole thing while dealing with my depression (yay..) Hoping to get some one on one time with her this weekend as Abbie’s father is suppose to be in sometime Friday. I had been planning a Black Friday day with my bestie for a month now. And Its a rare occasion for me to have a day to myself…. I normally only get a few hours but I will have to wait for my mommy day.

My greatest blessing in life is my daughter. I wouldnt know what to do without her.

My father finally got to meet his granddaughter for the first time.

It went surprising horrible…at least in my head lol.

From my knowledge, he was mostly smoking and on his phone the whole time which isn’t cool… Didn’t change one diaper.. and mentioned something about something I probably cant share yet

It was a mess…

I’m back on the dating scene officially..

Waiting to see where life will take me now. Well, take me and Abbie.

 

Throw back to last year!!

img_0279